CHILDREN MENTAL HEALTH

 

          How do parents’ arguments affect children’s mental health?

 

The first attack of such situations is on the emotional nature of a child. S/He gets deeply emotional when s/he witnesses such fights. Some children express their emotions through crying, screaming or some children don't. They keep quite, tolerate the situation, pretend to be strong while in their minds they are screaming their lungs out. Both situations are severe in their own ways. One can assume that they can get along such situations as time progresses, but that is a very wrong assumption. A child cannot forget the expressions, words, gestures of her/his parents when, s/he had witnessed them fighting

      Most important thing ?

When s/he should explore the world and her/his own relationships with parents, friends, people s/he meets with in her/his life journey, s/he is locked up in a cage, thinking about finding a solution which can help her/him to be at peace at last. This is just sad. Unnatural

 

Children, who come from dysfunctional families and are victims of domestic abuse, show the following signs:

 

Social & Behavioural Problems

Children subconsciously assimilate and tend to behave in similar ways to their parents. Their demeanor and attitude towards life can become majorly impacted by domestic disputes. It often forms a part of the child’s personality and can hamper all of their present and future social interactions. Children who grow up in abusive environments often develop behavioural issues. They are likely to become compulsive liars, steal things, vandalise property (including their toys) and use abusive language. They may behave recklessly (get into trouble for their behaviour at school and/or with the law). They may become loud and obnoxious or quiet and withdrawn.

 

Relationship Problems

Children who grow up in a hostile environment tend to experience difficulties in forming and sustaining relationships. They tend to face problems in almost every other relationship, whether its friends, romantic associations, at work and with strangers they wish to interact with.

Eating Disorders

It is not uncommon to find eating disorders in children who are witness to ongoing abuse at home. Either children tend to binge eat and become obese or reduce intake of food and become anorexic. Eating disorders can result in permanent physiological complications in a child’s growth and future health.

Substance Use & Abuse

Children who belong to volatile households are at a higher risk of using and abusing substance. They can soon become addicted to substances like alcohol, tobacco, marijuana and other forms of drugs.

Academic Performance

A child’s mind is usually preoccupied with the tensed home environment. This makes it challenging for them to concentrate on academic studies at school. Most children become below average performers in their academic records. Emotional stress can adversely affect children and they may tend to fall physically ill frequently. Our immune system is compromised during stressful events and this can result in a child contracting frequent allergies, viral and bacterial infections. This can result in time off from school which can make it even more difficult for the children to do well at school.

What parents need to do

1. Never fight in front of your children

2. Respect each other in front of your children. Always respect your spouse. Never belittle each other in front of your children

3. Don’t create a situation which would require your child to take sides

4. Be mindful of the language and tone you use with each other

 

1.    Talk to children about arguments and differences in opinions. Show them how to responsible adults resolve conflicts

 

2.    Don’t involve your children when you are arguing with each other. Don’t make it about them

 

3.    If you do happen to fight in front of your children, then ensure to resolve the fight in front of them too

 

 

4.    Keep ego out of the argument and never play the blame game. Where there is genuine love and care, there is no room for ego!

 

We are all products of our parenting. We tend to instinctively behave like our parents when we become parents ourselves. Let us become aware of this pattern in our behavior. Rearing children is no child play, it requires patience, self control, perseverance and tenacity. Unsupportive and insensitive parenting can result in long term damage which can infect generations to come. We can break the cycle and parent our children empathetically